Relationships: What to Do when Online Dating Doesn't Work ...

Susan Semeniw | April 2012

Don?t get me wrong, I think online dating definitely has its place?in today?s fast-paced world it is a great way to meet likeminded people who are looking for companionship. On top of that, consumers have a vast selection of choice in the dating sites they can use, many of which are very specifically targeted to a particular group?such as fitness buffs, religious sects, vegetarians, et cetera. No matter what your background and hobbies are, for less than a few hundred dollars a year (and in some cases for free) you can browse through a boatload of singles and meet people with similar interests?which makes online dating a popular and appealing way to approach bonding in the 21^st century.

However, there are also some serious shortcomings that can go along with online dating:

• People can easily pretend to be someone they?re not or embellish their attributes? lying about age, height, weight and income and posting pictures that aren?t current is common! What you see is not always what you get?

• Sifting through profiles that show promise is time-consuming and can become a part-time job?for busy career people this can be challenging. The analogy used in a recent psychological journal was that online dating was akin to shopping for a car?faced with too many options, people are often fixated on ?who?s next? and eye-balling the bigger, better deal.
• Even after narrowing the field, the profiles don?t factor in life experiences?you can spend hours emailing and chatting only to discover something about them that is a deal breaker (or that they are not looking for anything serious).
• At the end of the day, only a face-to-face encounter can reveal true chemistry.

So what do you do when online dating just isn?t working for you? There are a lot of different options you can explore?it?s not a one-size-fits-all solution, so pick and choose what resonates with you. You can go to events (networking, classes, entertainment), check out a co-ed gym, walk your dog and engage in friendly discussions with the people you meet (you never know who someone else may know), expand your social circles, or (my personal favourite) work with a matchmaker.

For busy career types, a matchmaking expert can be a great option. Having someone searching, pre-screening and weeding through a pool of candidates to select the highest-calibre prospects who meet your criteria is a game changer. Making sure that what you see is what you get and finding your type while protecting your privacy is part of the process, and you have to do your part as well by ensuring that you put your best foot forward and avoiding past mistakes.

There are lots of alternative options to online dating?you just need find the one that works best for you. But let me ask you one last question: you go to a dentist to fix your teeth and you have a financial planner to manage your money?why not have a matchmaker to enhance your love life?

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